The following points set out our expectations when members are dealing with each other.
- The first contact between members can go both ways. This means that a surrogate grandparent can contact a family or a family can contact a surrogate grandparent first.
- It is expected that contact emails are answered within a couple of days.
If you know that you are not interested please let the other member know. This is just common courtesy and we expect this from all our members, and not just for the first email but for any emails that you might receive from another member.
- If you decide that you don’t want to continue the relationship with a surrogate grandparent or family, tell them politely. Please be mindful when doing that and don’t hurt their feelings. Equally, please respect if the other party chooses to stop meeting you.
It’s not acceptable to just not reply to messages any longer. You actually need to let the other member know that you would like to stop the contact.
- If you already found a match through our service or have decided that you are no longer looking for a match, please hide your profile from our website. This is to avoid disappointment for new members that otherwise think that you are still available.
If you don’t know how to hide your profile, please contact us.
- One thing that comes up regularly is the different expectations regarding babysitting and sleepovers.
We want to point out that we don’t promote any babysitting. So if a family asks you to babysit, or a surrogate grandparent is disappointed because the family doesn’t want them to babysit, please keep in mind that this is not what our service is about.
We encourage that the whole family meets the surrogate grandparent on a regular basis. Of course if the family and surrogate grandparent agree, once they know each other really well, that they are all comfortable with leaving the child/children with the surrogate grandparents for a while then this is OK. However it will take some time until this occurs. Ultimately the decision rests with both parties.
Always keep in mind that it’s absolutely OK to say “no” and the other party has to respect this.
If you find a member who tries to exploit our service or you, please let us know.
- Be honest and talk with the other members that you meet about your expectations and set boundaries. We found that most problems occur when our members don’t communicate what their expectations regarding this relationship are and don’t set boundaries (e.g. I don’t want to do babysitting, I don’t want to travel this far, I’m not prepared to invite the family or grandparent for lunch each week….). Communication is the key in every relationship so don’t be shy to express in a friendly manner what you want and need from the relationship with a surrogate grandparent or family.
We hope that this Code of Conduct helps all our members to understand our expectations. If you have any questions or suggestions, please contact us using our feedback form.
All the best,
Your Find a Grandparent team
Code of Conduct V1 dated 06 March 2021